A few weeks ago, I was getting ready to take my daughter to soccer practice. It was her first full practice of the season and important that she be there to refresh her skills and interact with her teammates. Her coach sent an e-mail the week prior about practices, and he had reminded everyone of this particular practice at the quick meeting we had had a few days prior. As my daughter and I were about to walk out the door, something told me to check the time of the practice. When I did, I realized it was scheduled for an hour earlier than I had thought. So not only was practice already going but based on drive time there was no way for us to get there before practice was over. My heart sunk. How could I have mistaken the time when the coach had told us several times it started at 5:30, not 6:30? How could I have made such a mistake that would cost my daughter valuable time with her new teammates?
Things like this seem to have been the ongoing trend with me lately. I feel like there’s so much going on that I can’t keep it all straight. My brain is constantly an unorganized mess and unless I put an event of any kind on my calendar, I won’t remember it. What is it about being an adult that’s gotten me so frazzled? Or maybe it’s being a parent that causes me to get scatter-brained. After all, I not only have to manage my own schedule but those of my kids as well.
Life, in general, brings many responsibilities with it, and military life only adds extra weight to the bag. But in the grand scheme of things, the responsibilities on our to-do list haven’t really increased much recently and my husband has been home more than he had been in the past few years. Why I have been so forgetful, or at the very least ignorant, is beyond me.
Amidst my epic mom fails, I have learned to go easy on myself. I have learned that I am one person trying to manage a multitude of things and sometimes life just happens. I have learned that with military life, even when circumstances are less demanding than usual, there is always something in my subconscious stirring up anxiety. The kids don’t seem to care too much if I forget something. My daughter wasn’t disappointed for missing that soccer practice. The burden of my faults comes from none other than my own guilt, and that guilt would eat me alive if I let it. I must move forward being okay with the fact that sometimes I drop the ball.
In the past, I have looked at other moms who seem to have it all together and thought to myself, “I bet she’s never forgotten (insert action here)!” But I know comparing myself to others will only lead to self-sabotage.I know deep down I am doing the best I can, and what’s best for me can be completely different from someone else’s best. And for me, my best is good enough.
Life happens to all of us. Sometimes it’s funny and we can laugh it off, other times it might be more serious and affects the family in a big way. The important thing to remember is to cut yourself some slack. No one is perfect and we cannot expect ourselves to effectively carry out every single responsibility that is ours without sometimes making a mistake. I have always been one to try to be overly prepared for everything. Realistically, we simply cannot be prepared for all that life throws at us. Sometimes things get in the way or we’re having a frazzled week, and that’s okay. As long as you keep trying, you’re doing the best you can.