As my anniversary approaches at the end of the month, I find myself reflecting on my marriage. My wedding day seems like a lifetime ago. My husband and I are two completely different people now than we were on that day eleven years go. However, we have grown closer as we’ve matured and we can honestly say that we have fallen in love with each other time and time again over the course of our marriage. These secrets aren’t for everyone, but they are time tested in my life… I’m not an expert. I don’t have a special degree. What I do have is more than a decade of a successful, and dare I say, happy marriage. Experts may not agree with me on these things. But, these are a few of my secrets to a successful and lasting marriage.
Here they are my top five secrets to a lasting marriage.
- Time for Touch- To me touch is an important part of a relationship. It provides comfort. It can be sensual. It can show your spouse how much you care for them. Often times a brush of your fingers or a hand placed on the small of their back can show more feeling than words can ever express. I also think it is important to make the time to kiss your partner every day. Kissing is the ultimate show of affection. It is fun, playful, sensual and comforting all at the same time. Making the time to simply kiss everyday can strengthen your bond, bring you closer, and keep the spark alive. Now, when I say, “make the time to kiss” I don’t mean a peck as you run out the door in the morning. I mean a genuine, deep down, soulful kiss.
- Quality Time- Life is crazy, we all know that. It is busy, it is chaotic and it has a tendency to get in the way of a lot of things. Force yourself to carve out time for each other. I’m not saying you have to have a regular date night or anything. I know that is not a feasible reality for many of us. What I mean is simply make time for the two of you. Put the kids to bed, pour a couple of drinks, sit and talk about your day. Pop some popcorn and snuggle on the couch while you watch a movie. It doesn’t take much. Make the time to be just the two of you, without the distractions of your crazy life.
- Communication- Communication is key. You’ve heard it said a hundred times, it’s true in pretty much every aspect of our lives. But, it is most important in your marriage. The lines of communication need to be open between you and your spouse. You should, of course, talk about your daily issues. However, you should also talk about your hopes, dreams and even your fears. You should talk about the decisions that need to be made. You should talk about your future and your plans for it. Talk about the serious things, talk about the not so serious ones as well. Just makes sure you keep talking to one another. If those lines begin to break down, the relationship will quickly break down as well.
- Trust- Trust is so important because without it a relationship has no foundation. Lack of trust breeds jealousy and discontent. Neither one of these helps to build a strong nor lasting relationship. All they do is tear it apart bit by bit. Your spouse should be the one person you trust more than any other. In order to give them your whole heart, you have to trust them. Trust is not something that can be given half-way. You have to give it wholeheartedly. If you can’t trust them completely, your relationship will never be able to reach its full potential.
- Laughter- They say, “Laughter is the best medicine.” This saying came about for a reason. The person you choose to spend the rest of your life with should be someone who can make you laugh. The ability to laugh together strengthens a relationship by lightening things up. If the laughter dies, things tend to get too serious very quickly. It’s important to cherish the fun times and relish the laughter.
So, there they are my top five secrets to a lasting marriage. Like I said, I’m no expert. However, these are a few of the ways my marriage has weathered stormy seas. My marriage is not perfect, far from it actually. But, I believe it is good and it is strong. I believe it is lasting. Maybe my success can help you marriage be a lasting one as well!