The Single Family

Photo Credit: Google Images

Photo Credit: Google Images

A single family, I am talking about those families who don’t have kids. Some may chose not to have kids because they don’t see that in their future. For others, they simply are not able to conceive children. Others feel that they are still too young to have kids and want to enjoy married life a little longer. Whatever your reasoning is behind not having kids, its solely up to you, but I am talking about you, when I discuss single families.

My husband and I are one of those single families. We are the ones that continuously feel people staring, and judging, because we have no kids. The decision of why we don’t have kids after being married for three years is something personal. This doesn’t mean we will never have kids, it just means right now we don’t.

I feel that we single families always get left out in the cold. You never see any signs on base about dealing with deployment for single families. You never have events just for single families. Everything is family, with kids, oriented. Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing nor am I bashing those who do have kids. I am just simply stating that it is sometimes really hard being a single family when your spouse is in the military.

A few weeks ago I was at a volunteer meeting for my husband’s unit. During the meeting one of the wives suggested having a children’s play date once a week in the park. I, in a jokingly manner, said, “Hey! What about me? I have my dog, don’t I count?” They all laughed and told me that I was more than welcome to join. Regardless, I felt completely left out. However, I do understand their need in having these play dates. I do understand that these play dates are just as much for their children as it is for them. I can only imagine how most of them feel being with their children all the time and never getting a break. I admire them very much.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the first time something like that has happened to me. It has happened more times than I’d like to admit. I have had the instances where some wives-who have children– are itching to get away from me because they see other wives and their children gathering, talking, laughing and playing. It stings.

I try to shrug it off, but the same thing happens over and over again. I sometimes feel like my husband and I are being penalized because we don’t have kids. I know people don’t mean to do that. It’s a way of being and a way of life. No one sits there plotting that when they do have children they will dismiss their child-less friends and make friends only with those who have children. At least, I hope people don’t think like that.

As single families, we struggle and deal with these things in our own way. But we have to look at the positive side of things. We can take vacations without thinking about our children missing school. We don’t have the extra bills of having kids. So, if like my husband and I, you are part of a single family don’t be discouraged. Look at being a single family in the positive aspect. Shrug off those negative people and enjoy having each other.

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Comments

  1. Jen Hatzung says:

    great post Ines, I know exactly how you feel! xoxo

  2. Michelle says:

    I know how you feel; we are childless too.
    ;-)

  3. Amber Vue says:

    I completely understand this. I do have kiddos but have joint custody and they are currently with their dad. So I'm at home and no kiddos. I feel like for wives like me the majority of get togethers center around going out to the local bars, at-home "parties" aka somebody selling something and/or wine "tastings". I don't want to be sold to and I don't drink alcohol. I've become really good at entertaining myself lol

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