The First Move

relocate3My husband and I just completed our first PCS (Permanent Change of Station) together, across the country from our home state. I’ve never lived more than 5 hours away from home and no further than a three state span of my entire extended family. Being completely honest, I’m not the most flexible when it comes to change and I had a hard few months accepting the fact that we were actually moving so far away. I sat in denial, sulked, refused to look for places, and wasn’t being the supportive spouse I felt I was “expected” to be. I began feeling so much pressure and ultimately I shut myself off from the community.

At the turn of the New Year, and just days before moving, I made the conscious decision to have a more positive attitude and bloom where we would be planted. Now, don’t mistake me saying “I made the conscious decision” with me suddenly wanting to move. But I married this man knowing that wouldn’t always be stationed at the bases near our families, and my pouting was long past its expiration date.

It’s been about a week since we arrived and the moment we arrived, all those anxieties flew out the window. The waiting period to move was no longer lingering over us and we could finally start building a life together here. There is still a lot to figure out and it doesn’t feel like home yet, but I want this to be a time that we fill with lasting memories, memories we can look back on one day in nostalgia.

It took me finally arriving to our duty station to realize that it’s okay to be afraid, it’s okay to not have it all figured out, and sometimes you just have to fake it for a while. I wasn’t sure what my intentions were when I began writing this post; maybe by the end of this I would be asking or even giving some groundbreaking advice, but I am going to just leave this as my raw thoughts about our first PCS. In the end, the decision was mine on whether or not I wanted to make the most of these changes and new experiences, and the best decision I could have made for my husband and myself was to choose happiness and embrace the adventure.

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Comments

  1. I too never lived far away from home, but it was not something I feared before I left. It was after I got settled that I realized how much I missed being there. Now, eight years after I married a military man and moved away, I still miss it. But you are right, we need to remember that we chose to marry someone in this lifestyle and keep a positive attitude about it. Congrats on making your first move! I hope you quickly feel settled and meet some great people to help you through it!

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