I don’t know why people are so scared of getting older, especially women. What is it about age that gets people in such a tizzy? Who in their 30’s would really want to go back to being 20? Not me! Getting older shouldn’t be such a sad thing. It should be embraced, celebrated and revered.
Personally I don’t feel 31. I sometimes forget how old I am and then am actually surprised when I remember. Age really is a mind state, not a prison sentence. Being 30 or 31 or 39 does not mean that you have to stop having fun, stop being silly, stop enjoying a night out with the girls. It’s just how many years of experience you have. I like to think of age like a test score, the higher you go the better you are at the test; life being the test, of course.
I love having a score of 31 on the life test. It means I am getting better at it every year! I am a better version of Carrie now, than I was 10 years ago. I am calmer, more stable. I know more, have been through more and have a better understanding of life. Am I less carefree than I was at 20, sure, but I wouldn’t trade the knowledge and self awareness I have now for any amount of carefree. It also gives me a different perspective on life, most especially the military life. I have been at it for a while now and have much more of an understanding and acceptance of it all than I did at 22.
It is a bit different when you are a military spouse and you are a teensy bit older. You are becoming the minority. But instead of being threatened by younger spouses we have a responsibility to be supportive of them. Help them adjust to this crazy life. Give them guidance and advice when they need it. Befriend them, don’t judge them. Who of all of us couldn’t use that? I know I am extremely grateful for the spouses who took the time to help me out when I first got into this life. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.
I remember meeting one of my friends when I first moved to Florida, she had been around the Coast Guard for a while, and man did she know her stuff. She had been through it all, lived everywhere and experienced a ton. Her test score was a bit higher than mine but you never would’ve known. She didn’t judge me when I didn’t know something, she didn’t make me feel stupid, she helped me. When my husband left for patrol for the first time, she helped me see the positive things about being alone. We spent time together, explored the area and had a blast. I am thankful for her all the time. She taught me so much (and continues to) and I consider her a great friend.
We should all be so lucky to have that friend who has been there and done that. Someone who knows the ropes and can help when we feel lonely or unsure. I hope I have been or can be that person to someone along the line. I know firsthand how scary it is to move to a new state and have your husband deploy right away. It can be overwhelming. It’s amazing how just one word from someone who has been there and made it through can make it all seem less daunting. So to all my ladies who have higher test scores, reach out to someone who is new to this life. Let them know they aren’t alone. Give them hope and maybe just a little bit of wisdom, we will all be better for it.