Transitioning After Deployment

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I really thought that when my husband got back from his first deployment that as a married couple things would be different. I’ve seen the movies, read the stories and heard some stories first hand. So I thought, “Why would my transition be any different?” It was. Just like the million and one other times we have been apart, distance is no stranger to us. It is something we have gotten to know as a couple, but the later part, the war factor, is something that neither one of us will get used to.

To give you a little history on us; when my husband and I got engaged, we spent that first year apart only seeing each other for a total of 10 days! The following year we were in the same continent, yet different countries, we were able to see each other more than we thought. Distance isn’t something new in our relationship, but the added factor of him being at war is.

That first night and day when he was home felt like we picked up right where we left off and that’s how it has been since he’s been home. It’s like you are reuniting with your best friend and nothing has changed. But I’m also not going to sugar coat everything for you and tell you everything has been peachy. We are in a marriage and we do argue and fuss and do what every other couple has done. I have had to get used to the fact that I have to share the house again, even the couch which probably got a dent in it from me sitting on it for 7 months. I have had to get used to having meal times and cooking for two. My laundry went from one load to triple that. I had to start reminding myself that I had to let him know when I was leaving the house to run errands or do this and that. My sleep schedule was another thing. I was so used to waking up whenever, that it never dawned on me that my sleeping schedule was annoying him. The television has been taken over and I can’t watch whatever I wanted or whenever I wanted, especially my Lifetime movies.

We all have to adjust and then re-adjust because of deployments. Some couples have it easier, while others don’t. It doesn’t mean that there is something wrong in your relationship if it takes a while for that adjustment to kick in; it just means that not everyone is that same…and that’s a good thing.


2 thoughts on “Transitioning After Deployment”

  1. I couldn’t agree with this article more! This last time my husband deployed I was really worried about the transition because I spent a year alone with our daughter and I didn’t know how it would be for him to come back into the picture! I was nervous but of course it worked out… I had my best friend back! And even though there are little tiffs and arguments overall we couldn’t be happier to be reunited! Even if it means I have wayyy more laundry and cooking to do! haha

  2. It is definitely a fear of mine, the transition period. Little things like laundry and watching certain shows can end up being bombs in the household. I know you never really can be prepared for this time because every couple is different, but to know that it is somewhat common with most couples helps in understanding it.

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