Kim Kravitz Photography- OpLove Photographer

When our service member leaves, our lives change. We are left to hold down the homefront, pay the bills, keep the house in order and take care of the kids. Sometimes we get jobs, go back to school, or both. We do what is necessary to keep busy through the time our spouse is away.

What happens when our spouse comes home though? Are we expected to go back to how things were before the deployment started? Are the kids going to remember mom or dad? Is our spouse going to come home and jump right in?

When my husband came home from Iraq in 2008, reintegration was seamless. It was almost as if he just took a step back and watched me. He did his best not to mess with the routine I had our son and myself on.

My husband returned from Afghanistan almost a month ago, and I wish I could say reintegration has been as easy as the last time. Don’t get me wrong, having him home has been great. I have my best friend back home, and adult conversation more throughout the day. However, we just haven’t found our stride yet. I’ve been exhausted, the kids have been extra spoiled since dad has been back, and he’s had the online portion of BNONC to do since he’s been home.

How do you handle reintegration? Are previous deployments different from each other? Are you and your spouse able to easily transition from being a one person household for the length of the deployment to be being a two person household (not counting kids)?


2 thoughts on “Reintegration”

  1. We’re actually having some issues after this 6 week deployment. Last night Frank just decided he was going to bed and thought I was still watching television. So, needless to say, I was a little peeved when I got to the bedroom, after turning out all the lights, closing the blinds, turning on the dishwasher, filling the dogs bowl, checking the dryer, etc, that he didn’t help! I have no problem doing things by myself, but I really appreciate some help when he’s home!

  2. Our first two deployments seemed easy. It was nice to have my team member and love of my life safely home. He picked up my slack and it was a great two reintegrations. This last one however has been a struggle. Maybe because we PCS right after he came home. A year later and it is a blessing that he has been stationed at the School House so no deployments. In the same breath he has had a struggle trying to figure out where he is needed. I realize that my life has changed with no job because of this PCS but nothing should change our team dynamics. I believe it is harder each time because we as the military spouse take on more every deployment, children are born, children grow older sports and other extracurricular activities change, life is always changing. So our hero comes home to life moving on. Where does he/she fit in?

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