Surrounded by boxes and empty walls. The smell of packing paper and cardboard fill the air. A sweaty and frustrated husband wipes his forehead with an already damp shirt before lifting yet another heavy box. And the feeling of starting over consumes your thoughts.
This was my reality a little over a week ago when I was informed we would be moving within a week. Thankfully our move this time around was within the same area and not across the country, like so many of us military spouses have done before. But it still had me thinking that this is one of many moves my husband and I will make in our lifetime together.
Growing up and living in the same house since I was a toddler did not prepare me for the life I have married into. I am not used to the constant threat of having to pack up all my belongings and leave behind a place that I may or may not have been fond of. And knowing that within a year or two I may have to move again puts me in a place of uncertainty that I am not comfortable with. Being involved with the military and living this lifestyle as a wife, I have come to ask myself one question. Is uncertainty is the only certainty we have?
With uncertainty may come some fear. This last move had us leaving behind our first home together. All the familiarities of the place where we learned to live as husband and wife are gone, and we are made to start over in a whole new environment together. And looking at a future full of firsts, – first anniversary, first child birth, first steps – knowing that some of those firsts will take place in different homes will make each move extremely bitter. How many new places will I have to learn, and how many loved places will I have to leave behind?
Through all of this, I have decided to view uncertainty with some positivity and look at the situation as an adventure. New places mean new beginnings. So, while looking at an empty room with the imprints of furniture still visible in the carpet, and pressing my finger tips over the holes in the walls that once held up photos of my husband and I, a little smile appeared on my face. Thinking of the memories shared in that small space of our first home together helps make me believe that there will be many more memories shared between the two of us in different areas of the world. And, if you ask me, that sounds pretty exciting.
The lesson learned from this move is that I intend to enjoy my life of uncertainty rather than fear it. That is, if uncertainty really is the only certainty we have within the military lifestyle.