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Word Vomit

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How many times have you stuck your foot in your mouth when talking to someone? Raising my hand! I seem to get word vomit a lot, of course I never realize I’m throwing up words, until after the fact.

I don’t know why, but I always get really nervous when talking to men in uniform. Mostly the big wigs. Why is that? Not only do men in uniform make me nervous, but so do their wives.

Let me give you an example…

A few years back, I was at a General’s house on base. The General’s wife had invited some of us wives into their home for dinner. It wasn’t formal, although, when you’re in a General’s home, how is that not formal?

As we all made our way through the front door of their home, we were all greeted by the General. He was very nice and super personable. As I stood in the doorway, that’s when my word vomit began. I was talking to some other wives and we were wondering where the General’s wife was? My reply? “I heard that she is a real lush”. What?! Why did I say that? Where did it come from? I swear the devil made me say it. The worst part was, not only did I utter those horrible words about our hostess, at the moment that I insulted her she says hello back as she was holding a glass of wine.

I felt like running away and hiding. That was the worst case of word vomit I have ever had. I am not proud of myself, but like I said, the devil made me say it!

Have you ever had a bad case of word vomit yourself? Please tell me I’m not the only one that has this disease?

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14 thoughts on “Word Vomit”

  1. My Lord woman I am dying! I’d have withered away too. Man oh man I don’t have a filter and people in uniform totally intimidate me too.

  2. I have zero type of filter. Which has given me word vomit on more than one occassion. I know my husband would like to take a role of duct tape to every gathering we attend.

  3. Oh Lord I would have had to run away! Physically run! I get that problem sometimes, but mine really spews. I start talking to fill a silence and go and go until I open my mouth and insert a shoe store! Forget just a foot! I am learning to get better at biting my tongue… oy.

  4. Man oh Man- I think we’ve all been there. Mine was a very humiliating moment outside of a pizza parlor with the XO of the ship. Or more, me not realizing it was the XO. I could not shut my mouth and my poor husband tried warning me with his eyes the entire time. I wrote about it for a contest on awkward/social gaffe moments:
    http://homewifey.blogspot.com/2010/06/awkward.html

    Man oh man was my face red by the time we left the parlor. I never feel the same when we’re at an event and I have to face him!

    There’s nothing you can do but try to keep your lips closed and hope the memory fades.

  5. I have a severe case of word vomit around the company xo. I haven’t said anything bad, just silly stuff. I always call him Sir, and he finally stop and corrected me. He told me to stop calling him Sir, in a very serious tone. AWKWARD! It was so hard for me to not say “Sorry, Sir.”

    Great post. I know we have all been there at least once.

  6. Hopefully she had a good sense of humor! You’re cliffhanger on your blog today had me jump over here in three seconds! I’m sure I will put my foot in my mouth many times while Ben and I are a part of the Marine Corps. Oh and all the parties I host with the exception of 4th of July will be nice parties, I just like dressing up TOO much! Well unless everyone objects…

  7. That’s when you say, “My kind of woman!” and smile and hope she laughs!

    One of my past commander’s spouse wouldn’t tell people who she was on PURPOSE to see what people would say! NOT kidding!

  8. Ohhh goodness!!!!! I would have tried to come up with the most witty followup. Like I like her style, or I wish she would invite me over for one of those nights..
    I also had a commanders wife that wouldnt let on that she was a commanders wife and tried to pry. I was the only girl in my shop so she let me in on it. Ohhhh Funny.

  9. Oh, my goodness gracious alive! I’m gone for a week and ya’ll go to hell in a hand basket! I have got my work cut out for me don’t I?

  10. Man, oh man. I don’t have any specific stories, but believe me, I’ve had plenty of word vomit in my time. I’m absolutely terrified of meeting “big wigs”, because I’m sure I would say something humiliating in front of them. Happily, that hasn’t come to pass yet…meeting big wigs, that is. Not saying humiliating things.

  11. I saw a friend’s mom a the dermatologists office and asked if she was there for botox…as a joke, but it probably didn’t seem like that to her! I was so ashamed because I always try to be respectful to my elders. I don’t even believe in botox, and think she is a beautiful woman. I hate that I said that!

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