Deployment/PCS Military Kids/Special Needs

And So It Begins…..{Again}

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Putting my kids to bed tonight was a struggle. All of them continued to cry out for their daddy. Sadness cracked their tiny little voices as they literally screamed for him. It made me feel a little overwhelmed for what the next year holds for me, being the mommy, but having to wear daddy’s pants to fit the role. It seems like it wasn’t that long ago that I just dealt with these same issues. My heart breaks for my children.  It never gets any easier. Time doesn’t heal their hearts; it only erases their memory of his long absence. 

We have been used to having daddy at home with us since he came home from his last deployment which was the end of July. We have been spoiled to say the least. But now, starts the beginning of schoolings, then come the work-ups, and then the dreaded deployment.  I understand and accept his comings and goings, but I can’t and don’t except that of my children. The constant question of, “but why does daddy have to go {again}”, never gets any easier to answer. 

Is it sad to say that my kids just have to get use to daddy never being around again? Its honesty and it’s the life of a military family, and again, “time doesn’t heal their hearts; it only erases their memory of his long absence.”

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15 thoughts on “And So It Begins…..{Again}”

  1. Amber you’re breaking my heart again! I cannot even imagine a deployment with a family or children at this point. With just me it was hard enough. I will pray for you and your family as always.

  2. I’m not sure how you do it with children… My heart breaks for them. Here I am a military wife, trying to become a mom, as you know, and I dread those days when we do have children to explain a deployment to. As it breaks your heart now, while they are children, remember the wonderful adults they will become because of who their father AND mother is… they may hurt now and not understand but come adulthood, I’m sure they will be more grateful and appreciative than anyone else could ever understand. I feel for you as deployment approaches your family again. Good Luck with it all 🙂

  3. *hugs* for all of you. All I can say is that I will be here for you 100%, and I will help you anyway that I can. That quote is perfect, I have never been able to find something quite right to describe how kids handle the time away. That quote sums it up.

  4. There are so many of us that do understand exactly what you are going through and are here with an ear and a shoulder. I also understand the idea that we as spouses signed up for this and knew what we were getting into but our children didn’t. They were born into this through no choice of their own and sometimes that is hard for us to accept. They are required to make sacrifices that for the longest time they don’t understand and it isn’t always fair. I do know that our children grow up strong and independent as I have one daughter in college and a 16 year old son who makes me proud everyday. My younger two are still at that age where not having Dad around all the time is hard on them but we work through it. I wish you all the best and my thoughts and prayers are with you as you gear up for another deployment. Trace

  5. He’s leaving again???? I thought he would be doing training and be home for a little while in Cali…did they change that or was that always the case, cause i swear when you all came through i was happy to know you all could break in your new home as a “whole” family…Like you said time never heals their hearts…

  6. I completely understand how you feel.. My fiance (the boys Dad) left in August for a minimum twelve month deployment.. He comes home this month for R&R and then it will be another five months before it’s over.. Watching my boys struggle breaks my heart.

  7. Sorry Amber, but thanks for sharing, it is always nice to know that everyone deals with these same issues and we are not alone.
    A neverending cycle indeed. You would think as they get older it would get easier, but just like us, they simply learn to dela with the seperation in their own way. What saves us all is the qualiyty time we do get with our loved ones when they are home, but sometimes that just doesn’t seem to be enough when you look in your child’s face.

  8. Amber this breaks my heart! Its funny last time my hubby was deployed yours was too and they even came home within a few weeks of each other. Now mine is doing work ups and getting ready to leave for another deployment as well. It is hard knowing that you have to get back on that roller coaster all over again but you are a wonderful wife and mother and I know you will get through it with strength and resilience. Your kids are lucky to have such a tough mom who can wear the pants while Daddy is gone and keep the family together! 🙂 You inspire me! I hope when we have kids I can be as strong as you!!

  9. Yuck, another deployment? It seems like he just got home. One of the toughest parts of deployments is explaining it to the kids. Like you said, it never seems to get any easier when the kids ask why daddy has to leave AGAIN. It’s a good thing your kids have such an amazing mommy like you. 😉

  10. We are going to start gearing up for that here in a few months too. Little Butt is old enough to talk to about it now. I don’t know how to tell her though. Oh man…I think it just gets harder and harder. My thoughts are with you and your kiddos right now. ((hugs!!!))

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