Deployment Crisis! I Can’t be There for my Husband!
Deployment/PCS

Deployment Crisis! I Can’t be There for my Husband!

During this deployment I have struggled with depression. Now that my emotions are more in check, I have a bigger problem, my husbands are NOT. This being our first deployment I don’t really know if this is normal but I can say that I am doing my best to help him with my words. I now feel like this is the hardest part of deployment. Knowing my husband needs me and I can’t be there for him. It makes me feel helpless and that is not a good feeling. What my husband told me this morning made my heart drop to my stomach and I literally felt ill. Then, I cried, for the first time in weeks.

Knowing he is feeling so down right now makes me hate deployment far more then I hated it before. Before, I hated deployment because it meant separation. Now, I hate deployment because it’s stealing my husband’s wonderful smile. I know he needs to be there and I know he is fighting for the greater good and if it weren’t for men like him, our country would likely be in shambles, but, it doesn’t ease the pain of knowing I can’t be there for him when he needs me the most.

In the meantime, we at home usually have someone we can turn to when the going gets tough, worry free. We know our husbands can’t be there for us (physically at least) so we in turn have found someone who we trust. This person usually understands and we can pour our hearts out to them without worrying if they will judge us. Of course, we don’t want to dump our problems on our husband while he is fighting a war, now do we?

All we, as military wives, can do is pray and use our awesome words straight from the heart to make our military men feel better while they are away and I will keep doing just that until he is back here in my arms.

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3 thoughts on “Deployment Crisis! I Can’t be There for my Husband!”

  1. I know men are not about weakness, especially not in the military. It breaks my heart to hear soldiers suffering this way. Not only do they have to be fighting for our country but they have to be torn from their families. Though this is such an honorable thing to do, it is still one of the hardest things to do. I think other soldiers are missing their families or depressed too. The problem is getting them to talk to each other. They are taught to be so strong, that they can’t express themselves. I am sure though if they reached out to each other, they would find others in the same position. I am not very religious person but praying for strength helps. Finding distractions like sports of just goofing around with the other soldiers may help. My soldier has not been deployed yet but I have dealt with some sadness with him because he doesn’t have his family. I also turn to ways of listening and making jokes. I am by no way a professional psychologist but I am well on my way to being one, but how I have learned ways to help others deal with the separation by researching. Hope that helps!

  2. Your husband is upset that he can’t be home to help you with anything and everything that’s going on at home. Is there someone in his unit that he can talk to? Also letting him know that he can tell anything that’s bothering him. It’s probably all temporary and will be back to normal when he comes home. Try to keep everything as normal as possible for him and let him talk about things when he’s ready to. I hope this helps.

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